Composure

Zach paused and pulled his right hand from the keys, scribbling down notes before continuing. His fingers trailed over the black and white gracefully, arching and extending and moving as if they had a mind of their own. His eyes closed as he played the piece through, and when he came to the end, he stopped again to pick up the pencil.

He couldn't get the end right. It was always the part he had the most trouble with. He plunked a few keys experimentally, then slammed his hands onto the keys in frustration. The following dissonance resonated through the apartment's vaulted ceilings, echoing until it faded and left only the sound of the pouring rain.

He sighed and pulled the cover over the keys, then bent over until his forehead touched it.

"Zach?"

He jumped off of the piano bench in a vain attempt to pretend he hadn’t been playing. His knees hit the piano, causing it to make a hollow sound as the strings trembled inside. "Nora," he said too quickly. "What are you…” His voice broke a little. “Uh, I woke you up?"

She glanced toward the piano as she approached. “You never told me you play."

"I—I don't really, it's just a hobby. I play when I can't sleep."

She laughed sleepily as she shuffled toward him. Her hair was in a messy bun at the nape of her neck, and she was wearing one of his long sleeve shirts.He was so tall, and she was so short, it really looked like a dress on her. Her bare legs were covered in goosebumps.

He sat back down as she pulled her fingers through a thick blanket of dust on the piano. She leaned into him, and he put his arm around her waist. She was warm from being in bed. "It doesn't look like you play it often."

"Well I sleep better when you're around."

She ducked her head just a little, smiling, then she put her hand around his. Half asleep, he knew she couldn't keep out anything he was feeling. He felt like he was naked in a hurricane as she absorbed everything.

"Nightmares." It was all she had to say. He marveled at her gift again.

“Yeah,” he whispered.

She sat on the bench beside him and pushed the cover away from the keys. She wiggled her fingers above them, then used her index finger to haltingly play "twinkle twinkle".

He laughed, and put his hands on hers. "Please stop."

She pulled her hands away and put them on top of his stained, crumpled, scribbled upon music. "Oh," she said softly. "You compose too?"

His cheeks turned red. "Sort of. None of it is any good."

"I want to hear it."

She turned and stuck her lip out. Her half-asleep brown eyes won him over, and he let out a groan of defeat. "Fine."

He glanced over his sheet music, though he didn't need to, and took a deep breath before striking the first chord.

It was a deep, haunting sound that was hit sharply and drawn out, meant to rattle your bones. He carried on into a lightly played melody that made his heart soar high to play. Sometimes the higher notes in it made Finley, his Great Dane, hide in the back room.

He lost himself in the music, completely forgetting that he was playing for somebody. When he came to the end, the melody slowed, and he struck the same haunting chord again. His fingers hovered over the keys as it played out, wanting to play more, but unsure how.

Nora took her hand off his arm. He wasn't sure when she put it there, but he felt a little exposed that she'd just seen everything he felt as he played. He didn't let anyone see that.

"Zach," she breathed.

"I know, it doesn't have an ending yet. It's always the part that trips me up. I can never get anything that sounds good enough. Like, I'd rather never end the song and play forever."

"Zach," she repeated. “That was amazing. You wrote that?”

He blinked. “Yeah, um...yeah.”

“How long did it take you?”

He felt himself starting to get red in the cheeks. “I dunno, I just work on it when I can’t sleep. I guess it’s been a few months.”

Nora rested her head on his shoulder. “It’s amazing. I liked the ending just the way it was.”

Zach smiled. He knew the opinion was biased, and he definitely wouldn’t leave it like that, but still...he wasn’t sure if any of his girlfriends past had cared enough to hear him play, let alone ask questions like that. It was just another reminder of how lucky he was to have Nora.

The thunder rolled outside, and a flash of lightning left stars in their eyes. Nora didn't jump, but Zach did.

“Come on,” she said, laughing softly. "Let's go back to bed."